Wow, it has been such a long time since I last wrote anything that catching up has become an impossible burden that I've been avoiding, particularly with things like job applications and Sherlock Holmes stories distracting me. But now, having finished the former for the time being and exhausting the latter, I'm going to try and give you a brief (though be warned I am not particularly great at doing that) update of what Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Australia were like. Which is quite a lot.

 

Thailand

 

As this is meant to be brief, saying that I didn't like Bangkok on the whole and detested Khao Sarn road just about covers it. Unfortunately, Victoria's first bout of sickness confined me to KSR and her to our room for around a week, which unfortunately completely tainted my view of BKK. Since leaving, people asking us whether we liked KSR has seemed to be a litmus test for our genuine backpacker credentials, with our inevitable response of absolute hatred often meeting with complete agreement. The place just seemed filled (though I hasten to add that not everyone was like this) with moronic tourists busy getting drunk and buying fake clothing CDs etc at vastly inflated prices (around 7* more expensive than Vietnam, and twice as much as Chang Mai) from incredibly unpleasant and rude sellers.

 

Highlights of the time included a crazy American preacher attempting to give sermons for those walking past, and an even crazier guy who showed his objection to this by getting right into his face and shouting at him. Being sworn at (F*** off, then F*** you after I asked him what he said) by a seller for not wanting to buy a pair of the sunglasses he offered.

 

The sole period of interest came from a day trip to the River Kwai and its famous bridge, and a trip down the death railway, which had personal significance as my grandfather was one of those captured by the Japanese in the Second World War and managed to survive having to work there for several years whilst receiving barely any food.

 

Chang Mai

 

We set off for Chang Mai with high hopes, considering that everyone we had met had told us how beautiful it was. Unfortunately, I was pretty underwhelmed, for although the place was quite nice and the people far more pleasant than BKK, it just didn't really offer enough to improve my feelings towards Thailand. The highlight of the stay was staying with the charming Allan, a Frenchman living in Romford and Thai B&B owner (though our discount flyer did not quite make all the details about the venue clear) and who, apart from being incredibly friendly and polite, was as stereotypically french as you could ever imagine. He had even assembled a terrific cheese-plate from the locally-available produce.

 

We were forced to leave Allan and his trusty tour Thai boy because of our UK-booked (and accordingly MASSIVELY overpriced - book locally) Hill-tribe experience which included a couple of nights at a nice hotel complete with pool, in which I taught Victoria how to snorkel (of course meaning we looked like real pervs by wearing masks).

 

Our tour was led by the friendly Boon who was ably assisted by the machete-wielding Chai, who would make walking sticks for the ladies of the group at every available opportunity. Our group actually consisted of six people, with 2 gappers from home (which no doubt made Victoria seeth with anger) and a very nice Canadian couple who we would later run into in the jungles of Malaysia. Though as you will see later, these weren't the only people we would meet.

 

The walking itself was quite enjoyable, if a little tiring (particularly when carrying your bag and someone else's), but the sole interaction with hill tribes seemed to consist of purchasing water and other beverages from them. The highlights instead were the elephant ride, with our chosen animal running off without its driver and having its baby suckle from it during the trip, and the bamboo rafting, though purely when going down the rapids (otherwise it was just boring).

 

Well, if you manage to read this, you are either incredibly keen or I am just getting lazier, as I hope to carry this on tomorrow, particularly with the cheap internet we have managed to find on our doorstep.